Shingo and Abby

It seems that too often we pick up the paper or turn on the TV to discover another murder-suicide. I always just nod my head and think how tragic it must be. Sadly, yesterday a 35-year old woman in Sherwood took her own life after ending the life of her 6-year old daughter. My memories of Shingo are of a beautiful young woman who had a zest for life. She was loved by all who knew her and just a lot of fun to be around. I hadn't seen her in 14 years and never got to meet her daughter. When I signed up for Facebook I didn't add her to my account because we weren't all that close. I have good memories of her, but I doubt she would have remembered "Old Fossil".

This is the closest that an incident like this has ever been to me and it is hitting me a little hard. I find it so hard to understand why she took the life of her daughter, let alone her own life. That being said, I UNDERSTAND all too well how the mind can take over. Common Sense, reality and life as it is viewed by most is completely lost. I've been close - - too close. I can look back at those times right now and I know that at the time - nothing mattered. I didn't think about those around me. I didn't think about consequences for me or my family. I didn't think about friends or my children. I just wanted my mind to stop - to shut the hell up. NOTHING MATTERED. I've heard people condemn the sole of a suicide victim to hell. I don't think anyone should have the right to condemn the sole of another being in the afterlife. I've heard people talk about it being an act of cowardice. It may be, but in my opinion, it is more an act of desperation. When things just seem to spin out of control and nothing seems to go right - when your mind just haunts every waking moment you have - when you want off that never-ending ride.......

I know that there have been times when I have been down in those depths and others have told me to think of my children and what this would do to them. Suicide devastates all who come into contact with it. In my case, the thought of what it might do to my family is one of the few thoughts that helped pull me back out of those dark times. Sadly, those very thoughts may have been why Dear Shingo took little Abby with her. Both will be missed by all who knew them. I do not hate Shingo for what she has done, but on the contrary I now feel bad that I didn't reach out when I could have. Maybe this is a lesson that many of us learn the hard way. Don't devalue yourself when it comes to your impact on those around you. You may be the one who can save the next Shingo and Abby. They will surely be missed by me......